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Friday, October 19, 2007 - 8:26 PM

things just aren't going in the right way.
i feel that it's heading the wrong way
but i somehow just don't understand why
or have any solutions.
problems start to arise for no particular reasons,
like the computer
it just failed me
for no reason.
maybe yes but without me knowing.
i didn't download anything
neither did i receive any virus.
i don't play any games
but it just keep lagging.
i deleted quite a number of things
some games also
but it just don't seem to help.
like the other day
all my documents i saved just disappeared
i can't find it anywhere in the computer.
i search every file in the computer
even the recycling bin.
but it just seem to evaporate in thin air.
the speaker failed me also.
it just died down
stop working all of a sudden.
even my tv's a bit crazy
sometimes it works
sometimes it just don't.
my handphone also
let's say when my sister call
the screen shows another name
the same goes for some of my other friends.
and i have to start doing housework
being the maria again.
maybe i have had good luck for too long already.
maybe not.
things have been way down for me since my dad passed away?
maybe just recent years?
i'm not too sure.
more bad luck seems to be heading my way.
i have a really really bad feeling that
all these minor bad things are just the beginning,
more and more worse things have yet to come.
i feel really stress,worried for no particular reason.
i don't know what i am stressing or what i am worrying about.
just a sense of uncertainty or maybe something else.
but something i can be sure is
i definitely don't know what is happening to me.
or rather i don't know what will happen to me.
that's the scariest part.
i never have felt anything like that before.
say it plain,i'm afraid.
i think i am very stupid and crazy
can anyone just give me a kick in the leg?
i'm having serious headache.
maybe i should go running tomorrow,
to sort out my thinking
to figure out what's happening to me.