i made a really stupid mistakeor in a better way you can say silly.things just aren't going in the way i want them to.annoying sistershe keeps "suaning" meattacking me with wordsgiving me that "oh,too bad lo" look over and over againsucky mummy mum keeps shouting and screaming at me.making me don't dare to tell her my resultsi used to not be afraid of telling mum my resultsyes,no matter how bad the results arebut now i'm super scaredi'm super scared to go home and face heri'm scared she will scream or shout at me i'm scared she will cancel the trip to overseai'm scared she will stop giving me pocket money,since she always do that to my older sister
i'm scared that my grandpa will reprimand me for the results but i know he will,definitely
i'm scared i can't live up to my dad's expectation
i'm scared my mum would my mum would be so disappointed
i'm scared my sisters will mock at me
i'm scared if i go to church,the people there will laugh at me behind my back
i'm scared that i would die someday because of cancer
i'm scared that i might not make it to heaven if i die someday
i'm scared i might regret what i did
i'm scared to lose any friends or loved one
i'm scared to watch any friends or loved ones suffer
i'm scared to face my mum
i'm scared i will not be able to live up to people's expectations
i'm scared to admit that i'm such a weakling
i'm scared to think of what if someday everyone leaves me
things aren't turning out right.
not the way i want
not the direction i want
why?! i don't understand
why is this happening?!
i don't understand at all
i don't understand why must all these happen
eventually i broke down and cried so hard.
nobody was there for meor rather i did not want anybody to be there
